D.G. Kaye
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#Guest Author #D.G.Kaye: Friendships – Online and Otherwise

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I’m thrilled to welcome Debby Gies, aka D.G. Kaye, as a guest author to my blog. She and I met online in 2016 and became fast friends. 

D.G. Kaye Writer

Debby recently released her latest memoir, Twenty Years: After “I Do” ~ Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging. 

Twenty Years: After "I Do" by D.G. Kaye

Buy the book HERE
(universal link)

In this article, Debby speaks about the spirit of friendship and how neither time nor distance need alter its integrity. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did. Now over to Debby, and more about her at the end of this post. 

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Friendships – Online and Otherwise

I’m wondering if the old stigma is still attached to  the concept of online friends. Do you ever find yourself feeling as though you have to explain some of your online friendships when talking to the people in your ‘real’ world? Have you ever been told that ‘those people’ aren’t real friends because they’re online?

Some people think that our online friendships are just that – online only, and when we’re offline, those friendships are out of mind. But that couldn’t be further from the truth for me with the many friendships I have made online. There, I said it again, I hate that term ‘online friend’. It’s that term that gives the friendship that feel that we’re only friends when we find each other online. That’s like saying, our real-life friendships are only friendships when we’re actually spending time together with those friends and when we don’t see them, there’s no friendship, now that’s just ridiculous thinking.

Many people physically go to their jobs where they interact with co-workers on a daily basis. Others, work from home on their computers where their daily working life is spent online, like mine. As writers and bloggers, we live in two worlds, both the physical world and online. We engage with others in writing groups, social media, on blogs, and with other creatives in our field. So just as people make friends with co-workers in the live world, it would only make sense we also form friendships in the online world.

Writers in particular, work in solitude creating, and I couldn’t imagine my world where I spend most of my waking hours, without friends. Only other writers understand our world. And after spending so much time with those we interact with daily, it only makes sense that we also form friendships with many people, and more intimate friendships with some. The beauty about the friendships we make online is that we become friends with like-minded people. And just as in our real worlds, we eventually gravitate to certain people that we have things in common with, and thus, friendship bonds are formed.

In actuality we probably spend more time with our “online” friends than we do with our real-time friends. We take some of those friendships to a higher level by communicating about more personal things that friends share through emails, instant messaging, phone calls, Facetime, Skype and various other methods of chatting live. Heck, I do that more with my friends across the miles than I spend time visiting with friends in my actual world. We share thoughts and opinions, help each other out with dilemmas on our work, promote each other’s work, laugh and sometimes even cry together. We even send virtual hugs after conversing, just as we’d do when we’re parting with a friend in our real world. That’s what friendship is all about.

Some of my best friends now were made online. Those friendships are no different than the ones I have with some of my old real-world friends, which some of them too just happen to live across the miles. How do we communicate with our loved ones who live far away in a different country? Exactly, through the same means we communicate with our friends in our online community.

So yes, I don’t care much for the term ‘online friend’. I don’t like to justify to someone in my actual world when I’m talking to them about a friend I have online. Those friendships I’ve made with people I met ‘online’ are just that – friends – who I happened to have met online. I ‘met’ them online, they aren’t just my ‘online’ friends. The geography between us has nothing to do with the value of our friendship. See the difference?

I am blessed to have a large and wonderful circle of friends I just happened to meet online. I don’t refer to them as ‘my online friends’. And when I’m chatting to my husband or a friend in my actual world about one of those friends who happens to live in another country, but I have the luxury of being able to communicate with them at the stroke of a keyboard, they are simply referred to as my friend.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on friendships made online.

©Debby Gies 2017 

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More about Debby . . .

BIO D.G. Kaye Writer

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

Why I Write

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling. 

Find Debby’s other books and read the reviews on
Amazon US     Amazon UK     Goodreads  

D.G. Kaye Amazon Author Page

Connect with Debby on her Website and social networks:
Website  Facebook   Twitter   Goodreads  LinkedIn   Google+   Pinterest   StumbleUpon  Instagram  About.Me  
My thanks to Debby for being a delightful and always welcomed guest on my blog. Please leave your thoughts for her about friendships made online. 
The Winter holiday season is a time for celebration, sharing with friends and family, and fostering peace and good will. I wish all of you much love and many blessings, now and always. 
Namaste, my friends ❤

137 thoughts on “#Guest Author #D.G.Kaye: Friendships – Online and Otherwise”

  3. Debby, sometimes I read your articles and it’s as if you’re reading my thoughts!! Spooky! So often people I meet in ‘real’ life just do not understand the depth of friendships formed here…which are often just or more real. Their lack of comprehension can hurt. Also I’ve noticed that here I share so many interests and deeper thoughts…because people have time to read, absorb, communicate! An excellent post and share, Tina! Love & hugs to both, my friends! ❤️

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    1. Thanks so much Annika. I knew I could not be alone in this camp of thought. Online with our community of friends we are comfortable and right in our element! I am much more understood with my friends in the writing world than many in my actual world. ❤ xxx

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  4. ❤ Tina for hosting Debby and Debby, my special unicorn buddy, you have so nailed this. Like minded souls connect, no matter how they meet or where they are geographically. It's a joy. ❤ hugs for you both ❤

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  5. I have to agree with you, Deb. We have various degrees of friendship with people no matter if we met them online or in the physical world. The bonds are real, and you are correct when you say that we interact more with our friends online than those in the physical world. Thanks for this thought-provoking post.

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  8. To be connected on a deep level with so many “friends” around the globe is an amazingly wonderful blessing! I think these friends will stick around for many years to come as we follow each other’s journeys, trials, triumphs and deep inner visions. Great post, Deb! Thank you, Tina. You are one of these friends whom I value to the utmost!

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  10. Tina, my beautiful friend, thanks so much for inviting me to share something inspirational over here at your inspirational and always welcoming blog. Our friendship is a prime example of this post! ❤ Hugs girlfriend! xxxxxx

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    1. Most welcome, Deb. I was thrilled to feature you and share your enthusiastic spirit and profound words. I doubt we would have met offline, which makes me even more grateful for the Internet! Love and hugs, sister ❤

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  13. It’s so wonderful to have friends from the far reaches of the world. I count you, Tina, Colleen and my sister blogging pals as lovely friends and appreciate my many more online chums too. My online friends have certainly enriched my life in ways I could not have imagined since starting blogging over three years ago. 🙂

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  14. Beautiful post…. What differentiates friendships has do do with “circumstances”… which are per se accidental. I have always felt that the fact that we can make friends online, with people that maybe we would never meet “in person” makes it even more “real”… Of course, a digression: by Real I am thinking of Plato´s “Essences” (shapes), being them the basis of all tangible things (and bonds). 😀 Love to Debbie & Tina from Aquileana … 😀

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    1. Hello sweet Aqui. I love your analogies. And I also remember that you were one of my first friends I made in blogging quite a few years ago, and here we are! Love and hugs to you too and wishing you a beautiful holiday season. 🙂 ❤

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    2. A lovely analogy, Aquileana. You were one of the first people to visit my blog, even before I had it up and running correctly. Debby rescued me from stasis, thank goodness, and now . . . here we all are! Happy Holidays, my lovely friend ❤

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  15. Wow, I had to scroll for days past 49 other comments (yay! mine is #50)! I have met what I believe are lifelong friends online, mostly as a result of blogging. There is something about that special relationship that bloggers have with each other that can ease that transition from online relationship to F2F friendship! Both you, Tina and Debby, I am DYING to meet in person some day (Tina, at least you’re in my neck of the woods in NorCal). I have been so blessed to have all these girlfriends (and even some great relationships with men bloggers, like Frank, a photographer in Petaluma who recommended the camera I now use, and Hugh in UK). I firmly believe these are significant friendships because as bloggers, we put our hearts right out there for the world to see! As you know I met up with three other bloggers back in November down in Southern California, and just last week, I had coffee with author/blogger Catherine Townsend. It is just so darn stinkin’ cool! I think I even dream about my blogger friends (no I am not weird). Fabulous post and honored to call you my friends!

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    1. Ter, I love your enthusiastic comment. All so true. It would surely be a lonely life for writers if we didn’t have friends to guide and/or inspire us along the way. And yes, of course, we just want to meet our friends in person and give them a real tangible hug one day. I sure hope I can get out to meet more of my friends in person eventually. I sometimes feel left ‘out in the cold’ (pun intended) here in Canada while so many of my great friends live in US and UK! ❤

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    2. Isn’t it great, Terri? I know we’ll meet someday soon, and I’m really looking forward to it. In Spring when the weather is reliable, taking pictures together around Lake Merritt in Oakland might be a nice outing 🙂 ❤

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  16. I agree with you Tina…Online friends may be miles away from us but they are closer to us as they know us better than real life friends, understand us, support us and live within our hearts. Love and hugs dear friends…I have never felt as loved as my online friends love. Thanks for sharing such meaningful thoughts.

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  17. A fabulous post, Debby and Tina. I have been part of the blogging community for just over one year now. I feel that people who love the written word, both as readers and writers, share a unique bond and that creates the right environment for strong and lasting friendships. I too feel that my blogging friends are very real and know more about me and my life than my “real” friends do because they participate in my world of written thoughts and ideas.

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  18. Thanks, Debby. Over the last few years, due to my personal circumstances, I’ve been coming and going and having little time to physically keep in touch with friends, and the one constant has been my friends on the online sphere. You are all part of my lives now and yes, it makes no difference where we met.
    Thanks so much, Tina and happy holidays to all!

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  19. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    I am so happy to consider Tina Frisco and Debby Gies as friends, in every sense of the word. There is the public friendship which is clear to see in comments, sharing of work and guest posts, and then there is the direct messages where we talk privately.. Debby talks about the fact that on or offline friendship is real… she would love to hear your thoughts.

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    1. You know the feeling is sooooooooooooooo mutual Sal. I feel so blessed to have made so many wonderful friendships, and particularly grateful for you and Tina always having my back, supporting me, not only in my writing life, but my private life. ❤

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  21. A wonderful post and I totally agree with it all. I’ve stopped using the expression ‘online friend’. It made me feel I was belittling a friendship – as if I was implying it was somehow less real or less important than an offline friendship. Friends are friends 🙂

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    1. Exactly Mary! That’s what inspired me to write this post, online friends merely mean we commune online, not that the friendship means any less than if we were to have opportunity to meet for a coffee in our everyday living world. ❤

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  22. A friend is a friend is a friend! However I meet someone, how long we are in communication, and in what way we communicate does NOT matter. What makes someone a friend? Their concern, mutual interests, trust, honesty, respect, sense of humor, are just some of the things I look for in a friend. And, I have found many through the Internet…you are each one a friend to me, Debby AND Tina. Would love to meet you for a cup of tea, coffee, or glass of wine…whatever…and talk eye to eye. Yes, that would be much more fun and I am sure allow us to get to a deeper level, but that is not the reality of our various geographical locations.
    I treasure all my friends, past and present. They have each enriched my life.

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    2. Beautifully put Karen. I’m thrilled to be in a circle of wonderful friends and writers like you. And who knows, maybe one day we can form our own meet up weekend somewhere (most likely in the US as I’m outnumbered LOL). Merry Christmas my friend. ❤

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  26. Debby I agree . There is no differentiation between people you have meet and like on line and those face-to-face. I think what differentiates real friends from those you know is the quality of the interaction, if you are both engaged and chat it does not matter how you communicate. So I think this was a great thought provoking post and helps us realise who and what our real friends are… people we share some bond with, we make time for, and whose company we enjoy no matter what the medium. Love to you both Px

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    2. Thank you Paul. I’m thrilled to bits that so many have joined in the conversation here and we are all on the same wavelength. Hopefully one day we can all meet somewhere and give some real hugs, but for now, we all have a wonderful community of friends that are only a keystroke away. 🙂 xx

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  28. You hit the nail on the head, Debby! Thank you for talking about this, because it is TRUE. I talk about Charles, and Robin, and Sue, and Sally, and Marcia, and Pete, and John… and many more all the time. Debby and Tina, too. It’s a wonderful world of friends. Typical conversation with hubby: “You won’t believe what John said today.” “Which John? The funny guy or the history buff?” See what I mean? Yesterday hubby said, “Have you told Pete you got a letter from the Queen?” It’s how it is. It’s wonderful.

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    1. Exactly Jennie! Lol, you sound like me trying to explain something to my hub about a friend who wrote something or their book, or something else. Actually, he can’t keep up with all my friends, lol. So I am blessed! ❤

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  30. We don’t have many friends in the ‘real’ world, but working on line has given us so many more. Maybe the distances involved makes each friendship far more precious and special, whatever the reason, we love each and every one of you!

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  32. Wonderful article, Debby. ❤ and Thanks, Tina, for hosting ❤
    My "online friends", I hate the tag too, are precious to me, their friendship and encouragement have made 2017 much better. I cherish them and when talking about them to offline people they are indeed called my friends. xxx

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    1. Beautiful Adele. I think we can all say ‘we’re on the same page’ with this. ❤ I wouldn't want to be without my treasured friendships either. ❤ xxx And thank you for sharing on your blog. ❤ xxxx

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    2. Most welcome, Adele. I agree… friends are friends, no matter the distance or how the friendships were made. Thanks so much for sharing Debby’s wonderful post. Hugs and Happy Holidays to you, Becca, and Dante! ❤

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  33. Pingback: Online Friendships - no different than real life.

  34. I totally agree, Debby and Tina. Online friendships are true friendships. Sometimes it is easier to connect with like-minded people online than it is to find them in person. I’m so pleased to have found both of you. 🙂

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