Lucie Stastkova

Chronic Illness and Self-Acceptance

Living with a chronic illness is a challenge at best. If the illness is devastating but not recognized by the medical establishment, convincing ourselves life is worth living becomes an uphill battle.

Lucie Stastkova Art
Photo Courtesy of Lucie Stastkova

In the year 2000, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness that presented as a drop-dead flu. I’d been symptomatic since in the 1980s, but early on, flareups were few and far between. Innumerable doctor visits always produced tests with negative results. Over time, symptoms increased in severity and duration until they became immobilizing and constant in 1999.

I knew my doctors thought I was malingering. I felt invalidated yet knew damn well something was wrong. I lived in fear of a dreaded disease not being detected in time to be treated. Simultaneously, I wasn’t sure I wanted to live. By 1999 I was nearly bedridden; in debilitating pain; overwhelmed by fatigue; suffering varying degrees of GI problems; plagued by sleep disturbances, cognitive dysfunction, free-floating anxiety, panic attacks, and depression; and had a constant low-grade fever with sore throat and swollen lymph nodes. It wasn’t until I consulted a rheumatologist that I finally got a clinical diagnosis – one based on physical examination, as no definitive tests existed.

Since I was too sick to work and had been denied disability for two years, I exhausted my savings and retirement. Add to this that I had to advocate for myself while nearly bedridden, exhausted, and in constant pain, it’s no wonder I reached the point of planning to end my life.

So what stopped me? I had lists made of people to whom all of my possessions should be given. I knew where and how I would take the final leap. The only question left unanswered was when. What prompted me to delay making a decision?

Lucie Stastkova Art
Image Courtesy of Lucie Stastkova

Antidepressants helped somewhat but left me feeling flat and worthless. I also hated putting pharmaceuticals into my body. Two things saved me: my spiritual practice and the constant reminder of love from treasured friends. I had to learn to grant myself the same acceptance, compassion, and love I so freely bestowed upon others. It has been said by many – myself included, at times – that we are incapable of loving another if we do not first love ourselves. But I found the exact opposite to be true. I felt deep love and compassion for others, but every time I looked in the mirror, I faced self-loathing for the specter I’d become. I knew that in order to survive, I needed to turn the same love and compassion inward.

My belief that Mother Earth is a schoolhouse deterred me from ending my life. If we incarnate to learn specific lessons, and if we leave short of learning those lessons, we’ll need to return and undergo the very same experiences in order to grow. I didn’t want to backtrack. I didn’t want to suffer the same ordeals when all I had to do was commit to seeing them through this time around.

It hasn’t been easy, but it has been rewarding. I’m no longer taking pharmaceuticals and don’t rely on allopathic medicine for anything more than relative diagnosis and emergency/trauma care. There’s no known cure for this illness and the etiology is unknown. I still have flareups, but other than low-level pain and fatigue, the symptoms are no longer constant. I’m still learning to love myself, and I wonder if that isn’t an ongoing struggle for all unenlightened humans.

My biggest challenge is keeping up with social media. Writing can be accomplished when I’m feeling well enough, but maintaining an online presence can be demanding. I often find myself merely treading water. And when in a flareup, I feel as if I’m trudging through neck-high water, pushing myself to complete the simplest of tasks.

Lucie Stastkova Art
Image Courtesy of Lucie Stastkova

I’ve lived with this condition for over 25 years and generally take it in stride. But since flareups are random and of unpredictable severity and duration, I’m finding it difficult to plan and write blog posts, visit other’s blogs and share their posts on a regular basis, and read the books on my overflowing TBR in a timely fashion. When I visit blogs, my ability to comment depends on my cognitive state at that moment.

When in a flareup, I have to accept a stop-and-start work scenario:  work a little, rest a little; work a little, rest a little. And I’m usually unable to do little more than click on a few share buttons, unless the fatigue and mental fog clear long enough for me to write a few lucid sentences. If lucky and my head isn’t dropping to the keyboard, I’m able to do a reblog or create a post. The challenge in all of this is self-acceptance and not giving in to frustration.

I remind myself each day not to become my own worst enemy. Self-acceptance on all levels is crucial to survival. Compassion for oneself is as vital as breathing. What concerns me most is not being understood by the people in my life. It’s difficult to imagine – much less believe – what someone else is experiencing when their condition or situation borders on unfathomable.

I hope my fellow bloggers will understand when I’m unable to visit their blogs as frequently as they visit mine. I hope my fellow authors will understand when I’m unable to read and review their books as quickly as they do mine. My desire and intention are to pay it forward; at the very least, to be reciprocal. Yet when a flareup strikes, I fall short in meeting my goals. I’m still learning to accept this as a life lesson for which I contracted before I incarnated. We all choose the lessons we want to learn before we come in to this earthwalk. The trick is not to give up on ourselves.

Self-acceptance. Self-love. Self-compassion. I’m still a work in progress . . .

Until the next time, my friends . . .  Namaste
© Tina Frisco 2017

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120 thoughts on “Chronic Illness and Self-Acceptance”

  1. Reblogged this on mira prabhu and commented:
    “Living with a chronic illness is a challenge at best. If the illness is devastating but not recognized by the medical establishment, convincing ourselves life is worth living becomes an uphill battle.” Read Tina Frisco’s post on her struggle with a debilitating illness…and the conclusion she arrives at – self-acceptance. self-love and self-compassion…we are all works in progress….

    Liked by 6 people

  2. [Got here from Mira’ reblog, Tina]
    My heart hurts as I read – and my anger flares at the very word “malingering” – reminding me of the many posts I have read about MANY too many doctors with EDD [Empathy Deficiency Disorder], along with an inability or unwillingness to truly listen – to listen from belief.

    Perhaps part of the reason so many of us suffer their OUTRAGEOUS slings and arrows is to call them out, as we support each other as we tell our stories, until there are too many to continue to overlook, discount and ignore.

    I wish I could say something – had any information you may not have heard before – that might lighten your burden, even a bit. I admire your conclusion, and your resolve to stay on the path despite all. And if I hear from you seldom, know that I will be praying that it indicates that you are taking care of YOU.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to transform a world!”

    Liked by 8 people

    1. Thanks so much for your caring and thoughtful comment, Madelyn. EDD indeed! I agree about calling out those EDD doctors. Everything happens for a reason, and this just might be one of them. I appreciate your understanding, my friend ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. You have my understanding and complete support, Tina. Becca and I have similar conditions that leave us unable to complete the simplest of tasks. The pain and the tiredness, headaches, back pain etc. make the day stressful but we are both stubborn and love this earth as well and each other. I keep trying to research and to write, blog and all the other things, like washing and cooking but have to accept our limitations. We have to sleep every afternoon or else zombies are faster than us lol My condition will not get better I’ve been told this but……I can make myself as well as I can and I’m trying, every day to do that. Huge hugs from Scotland, Tina, Take care xx

    Liked by 6 people

    1. You are so sweet, Adele. While I wish you and Becca didn’t suffer, I appreciate the support of those with first-hand experience. How true that zombies are faster than us when we’re fatigued! Humor is such an important element in healing and staying well. Thanks so much for reblogging. I’ll be over to visit shortly. Hugs to you and Becca ❤ ❤

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  4. Reblogged this on Stevie Turner, Indie Author. and commented:
    I agree with so much of this. I worked in a Pain Medicine department for 7 years. The clinical nurse specialists’ motto was ‘acceptance, acceptance and acceptance’, and I have found this works with my own clinical issues. I have stopped wanting to be the person I was 30 years ago, and enjoy the slightly battered one I am now. Here’s to good health in 2017 Tina!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. How wonderful, Stevie, that you’ve come to accept who you are now rather than pining for the you of the past. Thank you for the good wishes; I wish them for you as well. And thanks so much for reblogging. I’ll be over shortly to visit. Hugs, my friend ❤

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  5. Came here via Stevie Turner’s re-blog. I have friends and a relative by marriage with similar conditions – usually identified as fibromyalgia. I am touched by your last sentence: I can;t help feeling we are all of us works in progress. I also feel blessed that I still have good health at 75 although the brain is getting a bit slow these days!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree, Frank: We all are works in progress. Learning and growing is what mortal life is about. And good health is indeed a blessing, even if the brain does slow down a bit over time! I prefer to look at it as thinking before we speak. Thanks for stopping by, my friend 💖

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  6. Yes I understand so well and is one of the reasons I wrote my book so that others can understand what is happening now as Humankind finds itself on the jagged edge of change. Earth and all Humanity are rising to the the next level… of consciousness. The earthly dense life of cause, affects and lessons has ended and we are now free to rise above the game of duality into unity consciousness. Unlike before, ascended or enlightened masters having to leave the body behind, we are ascending fully embodied. All the ‘chronic’ illness; pain and tiredness of the body and mental illness of the mind that the doctors don’t know how to treat are all our old programmes, beliefs and patterns (passed down throughout human biology) coming to the surface; ready to be released from Human exsistence as they no longer serve us. All they need is to be embraced, listened to and allowed to transform into new potential for each person to create the life they desire. Yes it is mind boggling, but it is the truth and each can choose to continue focusing on labeling the illness and get swallowed up in the cycle of victimhood or embrace all of themself, create quiet me-time, relax, be excited at what is truly happening to the Human and surrender to the part of them that is going to take them beyond… all that is known, here on the physical plane.

    We each have our own weakness where the body mind erupts… the more we embrace ourself and trust what is happening, the quicker we can join in and celebrate of the birth of the NEW divinehumanbeing… much love x barbara x

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank you for the reminder, Barbara. We often forget that what we clearly see, feel, experience is an opportunity for change ~ an opportunity to accept, thank, and let go. And it’s most important to do so at this time, because we’re moving into a higher vibratory dimension ~ into fluidity from density. As you say, it’s when something is most evident that it seems at its worst. It’s important to remember that this is an illusion. The old must surface and be seen before it can be let go, just as it is only the surface water of the great oceans that is evaporated. Acceptance, compassion, gratitude… Thanking and letting go of the old to welcome and move into the new. The time for wallowing is over! Hugs, my friend ❤

      Liked by 3 people

  7. I could have written this post, I have experienced all of these things down to the mental note and lists of bequests and no longer use allopathic medicine. The progress I have made have come due to my own growth, my own acceptance, listening to my body and my spirit and treating myself with dietary changes and herbal remedies or seeking out complementary therapists. I too have difficulty keeping up with social media and doing so exacerbates my physical symptoms, but the connection and the writing is uplifting and hopefully helps not just me but my readers too. Take care and thanks for the validation, I haven’t been able to write my own post yet.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re welcome, Chris. As my post has validated you, so your comment has validated me. We’ve both learned that homeopathic is the way to go. It’s reaffirming to know that someone else is traveling the same path with similar results. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. Feel a big hug 💖

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  8. I’m so sorry to hear of your suffering Tina. I hope this is one of your brighter times.
    I so understand what you mean about feeling great love for others but only hate for oneself. I’ve never been able to come to terms with self-love but can care a great deal for others.
    I’m ‘lucky’ that my chronic illness is both recognisable and to a point treatable though it won’t have a good outcome….like I should worry at my age.
    I hope there’s time for someone to say they now exactly what’s wrong with you and it only takes a daily dose of hone to cure you. Keep making us smile.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you for your lovely comment, David. I hope you don’t give up on loving yourself. I hope you realize we are important at any age, because mortal years lived are evident only on the physical body. The spirit is eternal and merits all good thoughts and energy. Do me a favor? Look in the mirror, put your arms around yourself, and say, ‘I love you, David; you are worthy.’ I see you for the bright loving soul that you are. I hope you will, too. Hugs, my dear friend ❤

      Liked by 3 people

    1. What a sweet thing to say, Kev. I shared this struggle ~ this lesson I’m learning ~ because I know so many are experiencing the same or similar. By sharing our experiences ~ our struggles and our accomplishments ~ we help each other grow. This is why we incarnated on Mother Earth. And it’s so validating to know we are not alone. We are, in fact, all one. Hugs, my friend ❤

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  9. Like a book doesn’t show everything by its cover, the pretty package that is you shares a brave front we cannot read behind.
    Sorry for your health difficulties. I cannot imagine how you have kept up with blogging and written so profusely. You never need to apologize for taking a step of three back. I understand even though I do not have health restrictions. I believe you have every right, and responsibility, to take care of yourself first. ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. I can’t express the depth to which I appreciate your (and everyone’s) understanding, Tess. You have such a gift for amusing. Whenever I need to lighten up, I know I can hop over to your blog and enjoy a few minutes of delightful virtual travel. It moves me out of the heaviness I feel in my body and into a lighter frame of mind. I don’t always have the energy to comment, but I easily ride the waves of your lovely stories. Gratitude and hugs, dear friend ❤

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  10. I know that you understand how much we love and care for you Tina.. there is an upside to social media and that is that there is always someone there.. somewhere in the world when you are awake and feel that you are alone. Over this last year the three muskateers have had some good and bad times but I have always felt that between our time zones the support was there. We only worry when we don’t see your cheerful notes for more that a couple of days. But as I can see from the comments so many others understand and empathise. We are there for you when you are feeling strong and when you are feeling tired.. We love you.♥

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    1. Thank you, Sally. It’s one thing to know we are loved, and yet another to hear we are loved. Your expression of love is deeply felt; and it will be deeply felt by all who read this. That’s the magic of love ~ it knows no bounds, has no limits, shares itself equally, and like the fluidity of water, reaches far and wide until all are in its arms. I love you, sweet friend. Feel a big hug 💖

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  11. My illness is mental/developmental rather than physical but I’ve also found self acceptance to be beneficial when it comes to dealing with it. I do find it easier to love others than to love myself but I’ve also found that the more I love myself, the better a friend I am to others.

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    1. It seems that no matter where the struggle lies, Kira ~ be it in the physical, mental, or emotional ~ a toll is extracted from the will and psyche. We often find that we’re fighting ourselves instead of witnessing and learning what we can from the experience. Thank you for stopping by and sharing what you’ve learned with us 💖

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  12. My sweet friend. I wish I could wave a healing wand on you and make you feel better. It makes me sad to hear that what you’ve endured has at times pushed you to the edge :(. You are so right, you saw the light, we chose our lessons before we came here, and many of us wouldn’t choose to do a repeat. You know how many love and respect you. You are a beautiful writer with a beautiful soul. Know that I appreciate our friendship and all you put yourself out to share and read. I’m quite sure, as I read all the above reviews, that so many appreciate you too. You do what you can do when you can do it. We’re not going anywhere. ❤ Well, okay, maybe I'm going on a vacation, but I'll still be spying on you.
    Sending you love and big hugs my friend. ❤ ❤ xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aaaw, Deb, you always fill my heart with such joy. It’s friends like you who got me through the dark times and who continue to make riding the waves a little easier. I strive to be as generous not only in showing I care, but also in paying it forward. I more than know you appreciate me ~ I feel it in every cell of my being. I know you feel my love as well. And oh yeah … I know you’ll be spying on me, you little elf. I wouldn’t expect anything less 🙂 Love and big hugs, sweet friend ❤❤ xoxo

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  13. Oh, my dear. I understand every word, every sentence, and understand it in my body and soul. Grace and peace to you, that you may write when you can, visit when you can, and don’t push yourself to do either when you just can’t. Given everything you’ve been through, I’m hugely impressed with your accomplishments, Tina.

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    1. What a warm and lovely comment, Cynthia. Bless you for your caring, good wishes, and kind compliment. It sounds as if you might suffer with a chronic illness. I hope you do not. But if you do, I have enough energy today to send some of it your way in healing light. Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a little light behind 💖

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the affirmation and validation, Colleen. Your fairy nymphs are wise souls whose teachings it would serve to highly regard. I deeply appreciate your support and caring. Hugs to you as well, my friend 💖

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  14. Hi Tina Thank you for sharing your story. I must say it does make my own frustrations seem a bit shallow. My sweet little Michael (aged 10) suffers from chronic brittle asthma and sinusitis. At the end of last year the doctors told us that he has a very reduced immunity (born like that) and that he will never get better. We are looking at intravenous polygams for him to give him the immune system he lacks. It breaks my heart and I have huge empathy for all people who suffer from a chronic illness. When you feel down try to remember that modern medicine makes strides forward all the time so there is always hope for better treatment.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much for the encouragement, Robbie. Sorry to hear about little Michael. It’s so difficult for parents to watch their baby suffer and not be able to alleviate it. I’ll keep him in my prayers and send him healing energy. I appreciate your sharing a little of the struggle you’re dealing with. We help others as well as ourselves when we come together in community. Blessings and love 💖

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  15. You are so courageous, Tina, to share your painful, frustrating experiences with us. I, too, have a chronic disease, different from yours but also debilitating. I have lived with it for most of my life, watching it take away more and more of my physical abilities. Worst of all, my daughter inherited the disorder from me. (It’s genetic and goes back several generations in my father’s family.) That just about killed me, but life has a way of teaching us to accept the most unacceptable turns of fate. It’s a lesson I can tell you have also learned the hard way.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your story, Lyn. I empathize and share your grief regarding your daughter. It’s difficult enough struggling with a debilitating illness, but watching our child go through the same is heartbreaking. I’ll keep her in my prayers and surround her with healing light. Knowing we are not alone and sharing our struggles gives us the will and the energy to continue. Love and blessings 💖

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  16. Hi Tina,
    I am sorry you have been enduring so much of suffering dear friend…think of your friends who would always pray for you. In vain do we complain of little troubles was the first thought that came to me when I was reading this post. I salute your positivity and resilience Tina; your story is heartbreaking yet so inspiring as you have accepted your limitations and doing so well.
    Life is the greatest gift and we must let it flow with self-love and compassion.
    I would like to share an excerpt from my book, which speaks about life and its complexities:
    Do you celebrate the blessing called life?

    To be alive with all those faculties of learning we possess, with the sensation of loving and be loved, understanding those exquisite emotions that keep us connected and lead a healthy life — that itself calls for celebration!

    I had my first introduction to these words ‘In celebration of being alive’; when I taught this lesson, an excerpt from the writings of Dr. Christiaan Barnard. As a young teacher, it didn’t make much sense to me! I couldn’t reconcile to this fact:

    How could we celebrate being alive?

    What is there to celebrate when we struggle everyday through the alleys of life?

    At that stage of life, being alive for us is being successful, being able to accomplish all our dreams.

    However, his words kept guiding me through the darkest hours of my life and slowly I understood the full import of his words: “the business of living is joy in the real sense of the word, not just something for pleasure, amusement, recreation. The business of living is the celebration of being alive.”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That is so beautiful and so true, Balroop. Life itself is the gift. How important it is to remember that when dark clouds loom overhead. Thank you so much for your kind and inspiring words, and for sharing an excerpt from your book. I celebrate life, and I celebrate you, my friend 💖

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  17. Oh Tina, I had no idea that you suffer so! Look at all the support and wonderful comments and virtual hugs you are getting! Love is a healer as well and you are getting big doses today! I can’t imagine your pain, or even the good days, knowing you could stop and drop at any moment 😦 However, your online presence is vigorous with all of your comments, reblogs and shares. It does indeed take a great deal of mental energy to write and share, ( so you can simply “like” without commenting). Here is a gentle, virtual hug from Sacramento, my friend!

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  18. Aaaw, thank you, Terri. Your hug is gratefully received. The really good thing about all the love being shared here is that EVERYone is benefitting! Thank you so much for being part of it. Our community is outstanding ~ second to none. Hugs back to you, my friend 💖

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  19. Oh Tina.. What a pathway you have travelled along.. One which in so many ways is not too far from my own, Yet your chronic illness you have suffered it seems much more severely than I did or do..
    You must follow the instincts that your body tells you, and when you need to rest, you need to REST..
    I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia in 2002.. What a battle it is to get the medical profession to acknowledge that the fatigue and pain one feels is not all in the head.. Or that we are wanting a sicky off of work..
    I will not go into the ins and outs of my own flare ups.. But I can say I am 100% better than I was when I at one time could not climb my own stairs or walk without a stick..

    But Like you, I ditched the pharmaceutical medications they gave me a stomach Ulcer as they were strong anti-inflammatory drugs .. I switched to QiGong, and Acupuncture, ( which I had a session this morning I still rely upon this once a month) I had Gong Baths, and Spiritual Healing from my friends..

    So I totally empathise with your journey Tina.. And a lot of digging deeper too into that Self Love for me.. As we are so often ingrained to feel worthless by those who brought us up.. ( you know Debbys history well, my own is of a similar one )

    We too who are empathic take on energies which I have now come to understand are not always our own pain too.. Its complex sometimes to explain, unless we are in the KNOW of how this Universe works..

    So I totally understand Tina.. And I really appreciate your honest courageous post as you allow us more insights into your personal world..
    Much Love your way Tina..

    Love and Blessings and Be Well..
    Love Sue xxx ❤ ❤ ❤

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    1. Dear, sweet Sue … What a blessing it is to share with someone who experiences not only the physical pain, but also the empathetic pain. Sometimes energy hits me with such force that I begin going under in waves of anguish and sobbing. Fortunately, I’ve developed enough awareness to catch myself before I drown, realizing the overwhelming pain might not (and usually isn’t) all mine. I’m so glad you moved to alternative treatments, because I expect we wouldn’t be blessed with your presence in our online community if you hadn’t. I’m filled with such joy and light whenever I read one of your posts or comments. I see you as an angel incarnate with invisible wings. May you soar to heights unknown, evolve into your fullest potential, and continue to bless us with your beauty … Love and hugs, my friend 💖💖💖

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      1. Oh my dearest Tina what a true overwhelming comment that is that has tears springing from my eyes as I read your words my friend..
        Yes I can get so distraught over others plights.. One time I collapse in a heap in my garden as I weeded.. I sobbed and sobbed… As my heart was so hurting.. As I was feeling the Syrian refugees suffering as they fled.. I had to meditate to understand and had to ask for my own Angels to step in to help me clear my energies as you can not tell another unless they feel like we do.
        This was why I had to step further away from the world and WP for a time .. I am the worlds worst, and my daughter is always telling me to ground myself more.. Not being in the garden over winter makes it worse..
        lol.. I hope dear Tina you are feeling stronger and your pain and discomfort is easing.. Letting go of emotions is something that I found hard to do as child.. I had to be the strong one and look after my siblings.. So tears now spill all that easier once those flood gates get opened..
        I am grateful for you being there and understanding totally from where I come from..
        Love and Hugs right on back with many blessings
        Sue ❤ ❤ xxx

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        1. Being the caretaker of our siblings made us stronger, Sue. It was one of the many things that prepared us for what lay ahead. I can tolerate the news only in small doses, for all the tragedy that fills it. On my daily walk, I carry quarters in my pocket for all the homeless I pass. (Wish it could be dollars.) We give what we can and do what we are able, knowing we all are learning our lessons in communion with one another. Someday, everyone will see the great web that blankets Mother Earth and connects us all. On that day, you, I, and all empaths will celebrate the gift that was given us ~ together with all others celebrating the gifts given them. Someday soon, all beings will celebrate the gift of life . . . 💖

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          1. Yes you and I are the same in many ways.. when I see those sleeping rough I buy a sandwich and a drink.. And one whom had a dog once I bought some dogfood in a self opening cans.. 🙂 And I know the Universe knows what it is doing.. we sometimes are just too blind living among it all to see where it will take us way down a future road.. But I have faith that LOVE will overcome all the hate right now… xxx
            There is a prayer circle to be held for Standing Rock today Saturday my 12-noon central time 6pm my time.. I will find a link for you.. The more who can pray for peace the more we help cleanse the world xxx

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            1. Some might call us bleeding hearts, Sue, but I call us open hearts. I had a friend years back who’s guru taught non-interference in others’ troubles, for fear of disrupting their karma. I see what you and I do as intervention, which also could be an element of that person’s karma.

              I’m afraid I may have missed the prayer circle. Logged on late today. There’s such power in prayer, especially when many are united with common intent. I know it served. I keep Standing Rock in my daily prayers. Thank you so much for thinking of me. ❤

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              1. Yes, I too have been told that Tina.. Yet Sending LOVE out to me can only aid another hearts energy I feel, not hinder it.. So I keep on sending..
                And your thoughts are enough for Standing Rock.. I was late telling you, and putting up a small post as reminder too.. And I have not been online all weekend.. I hope your strength is recovering and you are feeling a little better.. Lots of love Sue xx

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      1. Thank you, SoundEagle. I have done all of the above, at length, with little or no relief. But I do appreciate your caring enough to leave a comment. I just visited your website. It’s beautiful! You have a new follower ❤

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        1. Have you tried music therapy to relief some of the symptoms, Tina? Certain types of music may be able to transport one (albeit temporarily) to a different mental plane or spiritual realm. I hope that my music and sonic philosophy can help you in these regards even just a little bit at 🦅 SoundEagle in SoundCloud: Art, Music and Compositions about New Sensations, Love, Life, Country, Nature, Dreaming, Meditation and Spirituality 🏞🎼🎶. Please enjoy!

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      2. Hello SoundEagle.. Many thanks for all of your likes to my comments, And yes, I have a couple of DVD’s of Tai Chi.. Very similar in many ways to QiGong, and very relaxing to be sure. Thank you for that.. Nice to meet you over here at Tina’s 🙂 Have a wonderful Day 🙂 Sue

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    1. It certainly is a challenge. On my good days, I think of it as a lesson rather than a theft. On my bad days . . . Well, it’s usually up for grabs! The fatigue has me sleeping a lot, leaving little time for thinking. I suppose that’s a blessing. Wishing you lots of light and love. Thanks so much for stopping by ❤

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  20. It is nice to see that you are doing much better. I know how writing helps improve ones mood. Writing the blog I write is beneficial because I help an entire community with the information I provide. I am sure your candor is helpful to people overcoming challenges beyond their control.

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    1. I appreciate your thoughtful comment. Knowing that you’re helping people in a city as large as Detroit must be very rewarding. Thank you for stopping by. It’s a pleasure to meet 💖

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  21. Dear, sweet Tina, how I hear but also know the cry of your heart, how I understand. I am so, so sorry for all you have to endure and all the years of endless suffering. I wish I could hug you right now and take it all away. I used to blog much more than I do now, for the simple reason that I can’t cope. As a carer and advocate for my youngest child who is going through a very difficult time, flaring up from one day to the next, and lately big time since Christmas, I too am left exhausted and battle my own debilitating brain fog, mental and physical exhaustion and anxiety and depression. It drains me and I can only do what I can. I hate sounding like a broken record when I have to keep telling my dear readers and friends I can’t keep up, I can’t read their books anything like as fast I would like, I can’t visit them as much as I would like, heck, I can’t even keep up with my own posts. I’ve posted one paltry post since before Christmas. And of course, trying to finish my memoir too, which, with the concentration of that, means I can’t also blog and keep up with social media. So I am constantly falling behind and worried I will lose my readership and by the time I do actually get my memoir finished, my blog will be all but disappeared! But, time and time again, I have been blessed beyond measure at the kindness, love and support of fellow bloggers who are always there when I do return, have not left me and understand. As I know your readers and true friends will do the same for you. I relate so much to your struggle to treat yourself with the same love and compassion you so generously and beautifully show others, me included 🙂 ❤ I am so glad you have those kind of friends to help you and stay with you through all this and assure you that they aren't going anywhere and will stand by your side and support you always. I wonder where some of my off line friends go sometimes, I find it hard to ask for help and they don't see the pain behind my smiles. We don't like to moan do we? We don't want to constantly be seen as needing help. But sometimes we need that help so badly and we wish they could see it without us having to ask! Arrgh…I'm rambling. All this to say dearest Tina, please know that I am praying for you and I am sending you so much love and every blessing to cover you with peace and warmth and calm and every good thing to help you through these difficult – putting it mildly – days. Don't worry about us – get yourself well and we will all be hear when you are able to post. Love you my dear friend ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh, Sher, you are one of the sweetest souls I know. Isn’t it a blessing to have people in our lives who love, support, and stick with us through difficult times? I felt every word you wrote here. I feel the depth of your struggle and know it well. It would be such a relief if help were offered without our having to ask ~ if, as you say, people could see the pain behind the smile. I’ve learned that asking for help is a lesson in itself. And yet … once in a while … it would be so comforting to be given aid without having to say a word. I hope you know you can message me whenever you need support. You don’t even have to ask; just wave, and I’ll be there from across the miles. I keep you and your daughter in my prayers. Angels are here for us. I sense them. Just reach out your hand and allow yourself to feel it being held by Divine Essence. I appreciate your understanding. I appreciate your love. I appreciate you . . . Love and hugs, sweet friend 💖💖💖

      Liked by 2 people

      1. You see dear, sweet Tina, now you have brought tears to my eyes as I read your beautiful message. It’s such a relief and so amazing to meet someone like you who GETS IT. When you say this: ‘I’ve learned that asking for help is a lesson in itself’ oh I felt your words resonate so deeply in my heart. It is not an easy lesson, that’s for sure. Thank you so much…I know all I have to do is to reach out my hand to you and please know you can do the same to me. It’s a lonely place out there, Lord knows we need those true friends closest to our hearts. I am so blessed and grateful to have met you through our wonderful and just as dear, sweet and beautiful friend Debby. And I too believe Angels stand close to us, protecting us and guarding us in all our ways. I hope you can feel my huge huge right now and much love across the shining sea, to you from me, dear Tina… ❤ ❤ ❤

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        1. Deeply felt, and gratefully received, sweet friend. Words are powerful, yet their power lies in active reception. And sometimes, words are not enough to express deeply held feelings. Knowing what lies in another’s heart can be enough, And even though we’ve never met in person in this life, I know your heart. We have traveled together before. We will travel together again. What a blessing that we are traveling together now. Love and hugs from across the pond … 💖💖💖

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          1. What a blessing indeed dear, sweet Tina. Oh you’ve made me cry again…in a good way! And hoping so much we will meet in person, soon! My heart is filled with gratitude for you too…the cry of our hearts too often goes unnoticed. But when someone does notice, and cares enough to offer help, even if just with a simple message to say ‘I’m here’ means the world. And that’s you, Tina. And I am here for you too. I hope that the love and support you receive here from those who know your heart helps you in your daily walk, gives you strength and fills you with hope and joy. Much love and hugs right back to you, dear friend…no matter the miles (or water!) between us 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

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  22. Is your condition fibromyalgia? The symptoms do sound similar. You’ve well described the indescribable, though it doesn’t surprise me, for I find you a terrific writer. What stood out for me was when you wrote that being on earth is like being in school, and that when we go to the other side, it is, no doubt, the same situation! I’ve always had a sense of this, and when in straits and trials, this lends great perspective. So yes, it is one’s spiritual beliefs that give lasting succor, and I was so pleased to see you mention this here. Nice to meet you, Tina. Just look at the legions who jumped on board with love and support for you. Must be absolutely heart-warming!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What a lovely comment, Claire. Yes, my diagnosis is fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue. The spiritual is where I always go when dark clouds eclipse the sun. We tend to forget who we truly are ~ spiritual beings. But it’s vital we forget when we incarnate; otherwise, most of us would forgo the lessons! Thus, we wouldn’t grow. The outpouring of love and support here is phenomenal and unexpected. And you’re right: It’s exceedingly heartwarming, and not for me alone. I’m sure everyone reading these comments has been touched in a profound way. Isn’t that the beauty of blogging? When one person shares, we all benefit. I’m so pleased we’ve connected. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to read and comment. Love and blessings, my friend 💖

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Kate, and for reblogging as well. Many doctors often fail to see things from the patient’s perspective. “Walk a Mile in Their Shoes” should be a course taught in Medical School … I so appreciate your support, my friend. Hugs ❤

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  23. Tina so touched and also relate to your post personally and also from a fellow blogger who writes for sufferers of conditions that disable us and that are beyond the societal norms or empathetic understanding. I myself suffer from an episodic illness, that can wipe me out for weeks and then it remits – something i find solace in in the darkest hours xx May you continue to find your strongest allies in your life and through your writings. You write beautifully xx with warmth & wishes 🐇
    🐇 Up and Down the Rabbit Hole 💜
    goo.gl/T2FLhG

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t publicly display my actual name so go incognito as ‘rabbit’ but if I do get to know fellow bloggers then am happy to share id details just like to know who’s who before doing that (probably a bit OTT I know!) I am female and 39 years old who has suffered depression and anxiety and continues to have episodes (19 years and 14 episodes not sure its going away anytime soon lol!) Just make the best of it when am okay. How about you ?

        Liked by 2 people

        1. Fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue, which comes with a delightful mix of anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. Flareups can land me in bed for days, sometimes weeks. But as you said, make the best of it when okay. Otherwise, life is a drag, and I’m nowhere near ready to throw in the towel! It’s nice to have support from someone who has walked a mile in your shoes. Thanks so much for sharing. And I understand your wanting to be incognito. It’s not OTT; merely cautious and certainly understandable ❤

          Liked by 2 people

  24. I think this is a great blog post. Normally I would have more to say, but like you………………………….today’s not the greatest day. I’m doing good to just be reading. Namaste. XX

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You’re so welcome. Sorry for the late response. I’ve been taking a break from all social media for awhile. I sometimes just need that break. Today isn’t such a great day, but I have had some very good days, recently. Hope you have, too. Thank you so much for the follow, too. Sometimes, I just need my breaks, but I always come back, so if you don’t see me around for awhile or I’m quiet, this is why. Hope you’re having a good day. Take care. Peace out! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

Namaste, my friends ❤ Tina

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