Photo by Ningren

Chronic Illness Update

One year ago, I published a post on Chronic Illness and Self-Acceptance. I wanted my fellow bloggers to understand when I wasn’t unable to visit their blogs as often as they did mine. I wanted my fellow authors to understand when I was unable to read and review their books as quickly as they did mine.

My condition hasn’t changed, but the state of affairs in my country (U.S.) has. I mention this because stress has a profound effect on inducing flareups. Not knowing from one day to the next if I’ll continue to have health insurance or a roof over my head has challenged my inherent optimistic perspective on life. Also, the cold of winter tends to exacerbate symptoms.

So I’m writing this to let all of you know I might be a little scarce over the next couple of months. But truly, I just don’t know. I never know when I’ll have a flareup or how long it will last. What I do know is that the everyday stress of dreading what havoc my government will wreak next upon its citizens is threatening to take a toll on my health.

Believe me when I tell you that living in the U.S. right now is like being on a nonstop roller coaster ride, minus the thrill. I don’t understand the mindset of those who think our current POTUS is America’s savior. Perhaps they’re not dependent on healthcare for their lives. Perhaps they don’t live paycheck-to-paycheck. Perhaps they’ve never experienced having the rug pulled out from under them. Or perhaps they’ve experienced all of these and are so desperate for change that they cannot see through all the lies.

One has only to read how Hitler came to power in 1930’s Germany to see the analogous framework already established here in the U.S. Denying this or accepting it as a benign trade-off is extremely dangerous. Our democracy wasn’t built in a day, but it could be destroyed swiftly and imperceptibly. However, I remain hopeful.

Photo by Ningren

I know the old patriarchal world order is dying; and as with anything facing imminent death, it’s digging in its heels for a last stand. Conditions might even get worse before the beast takes its final breath. Yet I will not be daunted. I won’t allow the power elite to rob me of hope; or worse yet, scare me into questioning what I know to be true.

Humankind is skating on the edge of heightened consciousness. But in order to fully know and appreciate expansion, one must experience constriction. We are germinating in the rich soil of explosive growth. The challenge is keeping our wits about us while embroiled in chaos. Which brings me back to my reason for writing this.

Photo by Ningren

Maintaining a positive healthy attitude amid the confusion and uncertainty in my country is a demanding exercise. Coping with a chronic illness while riding this wave necessitates an ever-refueling energy reserve. I’m finding myself inordinately fatigued and requiring more sleep.

So please know that while you might not see me around very much over the next couple of months, I have not forgotten you. I hope you understand and will remember me 😊 Much love to you, my friends. Hope reigns. Namaste

Original post: Chronic Illness and Self-Acceptance

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121 thoughts on “Chronic Illness Update”

  1. We will be as aware of your absence as we are of your presence Tina. All we can do is hope that not too much more can happen which will induce more flare ups for you.
    I know opinion will differ everywhere about your POTUS and the current American Government. I feel Trump has brought about the closedown in order to let Putin come in and rifle the filing cabinets for secrets and also find a way to shut down the enquiry into Trump/Russia affair while the Government is out (but Senators are still being paid). I hope that once Trump is gone, a new method of electing Presidents is found and that things improve drastically to ensure something like this can’t happen again.. If there’s no improvement in the attitudes of some people towards bigotry, sexism, and pure hate, the US will never grow,
    Take care of yourself Tina.
    xxx Massive Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Look after yourself, Tina. We are not here to judge. We are here to support. We are a community. We will miss you, but we will keep your place warm for you. In your closing words on your original post, you said it well: “Self-acceptance. Self-love. Self-compassion. I’m still a work in progress . . .” I think we are all works in progress and it is important to show ourselves, and each other, that love and compassion are what’s important. I’m so sorry you are feeling overwhelmed and stressed, and wish that your positive vibrations heal and renew you. Best wishes. N xx

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  3. Jeezo Tina I want to punch someone on your behalf. You are such a great lady in every way with the most inspiring and amazing attitude. Not quite being in that class I am attempting to smother my immediate wishes as regards your government. All my love my dearest Tina and don’t ever worry about not visiting me. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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      1. It occurs to me (and it’s not the first time) that none of our blogging family is healthy! We all seem to be compromised to one degree or other by conditions that become particularly bad when having to deal with stress or are brought on by stress in the first place. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, Tina, but it all sounds frighteningly familiar so I’m guessing it’s an autoimmune condition not dissimilar to one of mine, especially because Jane Sturgeon talks about ‘soft’ hugs. That Tina has mentioned your struggles, Teagan, makes me want to sit down with you so that we can share our struggles to ease their effects. Hugs and kisses to you both. xxx

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        1. The same has occurred to me, Sarah, and what a blessing that we all have each other for comfort and support. Yes, my condition is an autoimmune disorder that is highly reactive to stress. It would be wonderful if all of us could sit down together with a nice cup of tea (or glass of spirits!) and share our struggles face-to-face. Yet love has no bounds, and energy travels as freely through matter as it does air. I hope your healing continues, my friend ❤

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  4. Dear Tina, I am so sorry you suffer so again with your illness. As you say, stress does not help, the body reacts on many unseen levels to stress and worry.
    As to your frequency on the blogs, don’t let that be a worry. What are friends for if they turn the back when you need them.
    Your place will always be open as will arms.
    Wishing you trust and hope and wellness.
    miriam

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dearest Tina.. I certainly sympathise with you my good friend with you in your health conditions, and know how these ‘flare-ups’ can drag us down. Though thankfully I have less of them these days.
    And I know how fortunate I am in having a good Health care system in place even if the majority of the press is telling us it is in dire straits here in the UK, our NHS is free and accessible even if waiting times are getting longer.

    My sympathise extend to your political arena, I can not begin to tell you how Mr T is viewed over here by the majority of sane people.. So was thankful he declined to open up the new headquaters of the American Embassy, because I feel many would have joined in to air their views here in the UK..

    You are also right to bring Hitler into the mix, and from such tyranny and blindness of followers such are the beginnings of segregation and blatant disregard of those whose contribution to his country have made him what he is.

    I can only offer you some advice in trying to do as I often fail to do lol. In tuning out for a time and understanding that within the Divine Order of the Plan, as chaotic a plan that it may seem from our perspective, That as you right say, it may well and indeed most probably will only get worse before it gets better..

    Humanity needs to see how imbalanced we have become..
    So all I can do is create balance within my own life.. Knowing all things however terrible in our eyes are meant to expose more heart to open in awareness in compassion. To allow LOVE once again to regain its foothold instead of complacency and I am alright Jack attitude many have now a days.. As they sit in their own cosy walls and point fingers out..
    It is time for us all to look in the mirror at our own actions and thoughts and see how each of us contribute to making the world what it is..
    What we think we create..

    So dear Tina.. Take time out my friend, I have been doing the same and not visiting as many people in Blog land..
    Turning the TV off, and absorbing myself in the things I love to do..

    I still know what is going off in the world.. but instead of taking it all to heart and wounding myself with it.. As I was doing.

    I now stand back, see it for what it is.. We are evolving.. and with evolution comes some of Natures Disasters… Nature dear Tina has been warning us for several years now.. As we have meddled with her.. She will also teach us our greatest lesson. And those in their high towers will crumble beneath her might just like the rest of of..

    We have the advantage, in that we we Know what we KNOW.. and that Knowing my friend keeps me strong.. I know also it will keep you strong.
    Have Faith that all will be well in your world Tina.. Know your roof over your head will be kept.. Know your health will improve..

    Sending thoughts of LOVE and no need to reply.. I feel your love ❤ xxx Take care.. and you are within my healing book.. xxx ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Dearest Sue… blessed with a little burst of energy, I’m popping in to reply to the comforting comments I sensed were waiting for me. Your love and support fill me with soothing Light, and I am so grateful for your friendship. Your reminder to look within is much needed and taken to heart. Remembering that energy follows thought and becomes our reality is so empowering. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt thoughts with us. You are a loving teacher and brilliant light in the world. I am so blessed to know you, my sweet friend. Love and hugs, always… ❤

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      1. Dear Tina how kind of you to say so, and I know you would do the same for me.. xxx ❤ Hugs sweet friend xx And know all is well in the world. And release the tension that you have built up within your muscles from holding it all inside.. Let it go…. and allow in its place the healing love and Light to flood you being.
        I have found a lovely meditation I now do when I go to bed, I memorised it. Let me go and find it as it is on You Tube..
        Will be back xx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful meditation, dear Sue. It is so soothing and uplifting. I feel myself relaxing and expanding as I listen to it, reminding me that all is well as the contracts of humankind play out in the world. I shall listen to it each morning and evening. Bless you, my friend, for your love and caring. Much love to you ❤

          Liked by 1 person

  6. Sweet Tina, I did not know about your chronic illness. But even without that, I can understand how the cold of winter, our political situation, and the stresses of the world all just seem like too much. Add to that everything you’re dealing with, and well, you are so strong, my friend.
    I am so glad to read that you’re taking care of yourself. That comes first for without you doing that, we wouldn’t be able to read the enlightened things that you share. Are humans skating a higher level of consciousness? I would like to think so…and I have often thought that this runaround with Mr. T in office is hopefully the “digging heels” attempt to hold on. After 2012, I have wondered what sort of new era were going through and it certainly feels like things are changing. I’m not entirely sure how, but at least for me, there’s an underlying sense of restlessness. For what, I don’t know.
    Perhaps it’s a restlessness of a new paradigm waiting to burst out of incubation into a world ready for change: peaceful change.
    It’s funny, I was reading Sue’s comments above (a sweet and centered soul she is) and she’s also been taking time away. I have started to wonder if I should do the same. I woke up this morning thinking I needed connection…that I’m feeling isolated. I work at home most of the time, but three days a week I work as the digital marketer of a school…I interact with others there, but tend to “hermit” in the winter. My heart is asking for more balance and I need to take steps to honor that. Your post here is a gentle reminder.
    Take care of you. Have a wonderful week/time away. Sending you hugs! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Cynthia, your comment gives me such hope ~ “… a new paradigm waiting to burst out of incubation into a world ready for change: peaceful change.” This is what now stirs in the aquifer of humankind. While it incubates, this underground movement rouses all that dwells above, and it leaves us with a feeling of anticipation. Reach out and pull back as needed. Listen to your inner voice and all that you sense. Together, we healers can move the mountains of resistance to change. Together, we support, love, and help each other and all humankind to move through the eye of the needle. Together, we will find balance. You are not alone. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself with us. Hugs to you, my lovely friend ❤

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  7. T, I know well what you’ve been experiencing. I will tell you what many here have said, that the new order is definitely taking shape. November 2018 will change everything and millions will applaud as the country becomes blue again and halts all operations by the madman. Like Sue and others have said, we need to go through the disasters to get rid of the old infectious ways to bring in the new order. Keep that thought under your hat for now and focus on you and not the TV. If you want to know anything you missed, you just call upon me, lol. ❤ ❤ Big healing hugs and love coming your way. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw Deb, I can’t imagine my life without your friendship. You’re always there to inspire and encourage. I do remain hopeful and will never give over my power to anyone, least of all to the regime currently haunting us. And should I ever waiver, I know you will be there to set me aright. Love and hugs to you, my brave and sweet friend ❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  8. A thoughtful piece, Tina. So sorry for your recurring illness. My wife suffered from chronic fatigue for several years. Eventually it became more intermittent until it mysteriously just went away–appearing only rarely during another ailment. Yes, the mind-body connection affects health, with stress raising cortisol levels and screwing up the immune system. So Trump and his cronies are definitely doing that. It’s difficult to ignore but in the midst of our struggles against the forces of evil we must find a way to transcend the stress with hope and faith that we will be victorious in the end. That keeps me from the freaking out stress. Trump may make your illness worse, but the two aren’t 100% correlated. If you can break or at least reduce the linkage, perhaps you can get better through your own medical, health and faith practices. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. John, I like your image of transcendence. Rising above the chaos and looking down on it, as opposed to being in it, will automatically reduce stress. Thank you for your support, my friend ❤

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  9. Can never forget you Tina. I’ve been ill for a long time too but I must say I am learning a lot that I wouldn’t if I were physically healthy right now – not that i want to stay ill – and I wish for you a great recovery – sending prayers up to you right now! Love,Mira

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  10. Warm hugs and prayers coming your way,Tina! I’ve felt a lot of anxiety over the past months likely due to current events and some self-imposed issues, so I know how stress can wreck you. Your blogging community loves you and supports you and we will all be there for you. Enjoy your good days, my friend and keep the TV turned off!

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    1. Keeping the TV turned off is a real challenge, Terri! But dwelling on the thought that your life is hanging in the balance serves no useful purpose, so I appreciate your suggestion. Thank you so much for your prayers and support. Remember to breathe, my friend (she said, speaking to herself as well 🙂 ). Love and hugs to you, dear one ❤

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  11. I wasn’t around as a follower and missed your original post, Sis, but I’ll catch up on it shortly. I understand the rollercoaster you’re on and I’m hoping this reign of terror will be short-lived. In the meantime, do what you can, when you can, and we will continue to send you positive thoughts and lots of love.

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  12. I am so sorry about your chronic illness. It drags one down, never really feeling well. As for the state of the US (where I too live), good advice: Don’t watch the news. 90% of it is negative and they don’t cover what good is going on. I’ve taken to reading instead.

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  13. My dear sweet Spirit Sister, your post tugged at my heart. The things that are happening to our beautiful country are enough to bring down a healthy soul and I see no end in sight. Only hope. So, for now, don’t worry about our blogs. They’ll be there if and when you feel up to taking a look. Concentrate on increasing your soul energy and body strength. We love you and support you 1,000%. Namaste, my friend. Sending light and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Tina, Health first, that has been the advice of wise people since ages…so I bank on this time-tested advice and try to keep myself away from unpleasant situations and negative talk. Your words of wisdom touched my heart and when so many people are aware of what might go wrong, they can surely turn the tables! It is just a matter of time…all will be well and history is a witness that injustice and bigotry always gets a kick.
    Wishing you good health and rest dear friend. Take care. Sending you love and healing vibes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Balroop, your comment fills me with hope and encouragement. I feel I can rest easy in the knowledge that karma is alive and well! Thank you so much for that reminder, my lovely friend. Love and hugs to you ❤

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  15. Dearest Tina, there is so much here. First and foremost, I am so sorry that your illness is worse and causing you so much hardship. Not only the physical problems, but the practical worries sound like a nightmare that no one should have to endure. I hope things will ease for you; the worry over health insurance, keeping your home – these fears will only make your illness so much worse. Please take extra special care of yourself – we all understand that you have to step back – you and your health come first. Check in when you can but we all just want you doing what is best for yourself. I hope you can keep your wonderful positive attitude and it can help you. You bring wisdom and enlightenment to so many, including me and often I’ve read your posts at ‘just the right time’ when a bit low in spirits, confused over my direction. Warmest wishes and hugs to you. xxxxx ❤️

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  16. Hello Tina. Your health is priority one. Everything else can wait. Of course we will remember you. I for one will miss you and will pray that you make a speedy recovery. I can relate to your worries about the government, but unfortunately that’s out of our hands. All we can do is pray that this madness ends soon. I wish you all the best and will be waiting for your return.❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you sweet Vashti. I’m grateful for the few bursts of energy I’ve had today, enabling me to respond to all the lovely comments here. They are much-needed food for my soul. Hugs to you, dear friend ❤

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  17. All good healing thoughts coming your way Tina. You’re right, it’s always darkest before the dawn. We absolutely need to be aware of the shenanigans of our so-called leaders and their henchmen. In my country, we think they are having their last gasp and grasp at power. They’re coming down …

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  18. What a very moving post, Tina, thank you for sharing that and I do wish you all the best with regards to your health. The world of politics is certainly a very crazy and depressing subject at the moment, and I’ve reached the stage where I try not to think about it. Don’t you worry at all about trying to keep up with everyone on the internet, just focus on your health and I’m sure things will improve soon. xx

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  19. Tina, I feel so bad for you. I’m not in your position but I share many of your worries over what’s going on in this country. I sincerely hope your health improves and you don’t lose your home or health insurance. Prayers going up for you, my friend.

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  20. Oh Tina, I am so sorry you are burdened with this debilitating disease. You are in my prayers, my friend. When we face a lengthy illness, it requires enormous courage to continue. But when we add to that the uncertainty of medical care, it is frightening. On all fronts, I will pray for relief and healing. You are an angel, Tina, much loved and respected. ♥

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  21. Dear Tina. I am so very sorry to hear about your illness. Please take good care of yourself, because all of us want to see you back here. We’re certainly going to miss you but, at times like this, you must think about your health and ensure you get better.
    Virtual hugs from me.
    xx

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  22. Hope Reigns! I generally keep my blog (and comments on others’) politics-free as a way of trying to keep the orange poison out of that one small space in my life. The orange madness boils my blood and I’ve lost friends over it when I’ve expressed my progressive beliefs. The stress of it all on top of the rest of life is just too much at times, and I too have taken time away (from social media), at times.
    Thank goodness for the millions in our country and around the world who recognize what is happening and are actively working to bring the needed change.
    I believe there’s a massive blue wave coming!!
    I have found hope from Thom Hartmann and Rachel Maddow and Seth and everywhere I observe & encounter #resist. Knowing Mueller is steadfastly going about the business of uncovering the truth keeps my hope high and alive, and the blue wave will bring balance and opportunities to fix some of the problems that got us here.
    I am so glad to have found myself here on your blog, Tina, and wish you wellness, peace, and a strong immune system working completely in your favor.
    Namaste

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your comment lightens my heart, Bonnie! I too sense a blue wave on the horizon. I kept quiet on social media for some time, but no more. I’m always willing to engage in dialogue, but I will not tolerate disrespect. I’ve unfriended and unfollowed people who were uncivil. And if my contacts don’t like what I post, they can stop following me. I recall the Edmund Burke quote: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. Hugs, my friend ❤

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  23. about the best advice I can give you Tina is to move to Canada.We’d love to have a big hearted soul like you! The thing about “he which shall not be named or in his eyes…blamed” is that no matter what foul things are waiting to befall him it’ll always be someones else fault & not his.He is a child in a old mans body.Nothing good will come from this!
    So keep in mind that you are more than welcome to come up here until the shit storm passes!

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  24. Oh, my dear. You explain so well the stress that many people must be feeling at this time. Don’t worry about visiting other blogs — tend to yourself at this important time. I love your posts by the way – the depth and breadth and feeling in them.

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  25. “Maintaining a positive healthy attitude amid the confusion and uncertainty in my country is a demanding exercise. Coping with a chronic illness while riding this wave necessitates an ever-refueling energy reserve. I’m finding myself inordinately fatigued and requiring more sleep.”

    I am so glad that you are taking care of you ❤
    You are not alone in this, in any of it… just want to remind you!
    Much Love, Ka

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  26. My dear Tina, I remember your post last year and I have missed you even as I have also been quite absent from blogging. All last year the stress was unbelievably awful from personal circumstances, and then we moved house at long last late October and have been trying to settle in and recover ever since. But my ongoing caring role of my aspie youngest takes a huge toll on my mental and physical health and I understand completely when you describe how fatigued you get from the stress of the worries about your country and the fears you have to battle for your personal circumstances and what will happen with something so absolutely vital as medical insurance and treatment. That is major. Here, we complain about our NHS, and it is in disarry in so many ways, but we have free medical treatment despite the long waits for some and the chaos in other ways, like long waiting times for treatment at A&E (ER) as an example, but at least we don’t have the worry of not having to pay (although we do pay through our paychecks). I just can’t understand how a country, a superpower like America, can get into this kind of leadership that threatens the very core of decent American life, the American life I love and adore, having been a huge part of my life for over 20 years and where I gave birth to and raised all three of my children (eldest born in the UK but 3 when we moved out to CA). We had insurance through my now ex-husband’s state job, but even then we saw the deductions go up and up and the benefits get less and less. And it’s much worse now, I know. I am so so sorry my dear, sweet friend, for the toll your chronic illness takes on you not helped by all the outside stress. I too am unable to visit blogs anything like as often as I would like. Lately, I’ve been active over at Carrot Ranch to support Charli Mills and the publication of our anthology, which has been 2 years in the making. I’m also desperate to finish my memoir rewrites. But this year already we’ve had a fire that threatened my mother’s annex (she lives with us in her own annex across the garden) and then I lost a very dear friend of 34 years one month ago. Such a shock, These things take a huge toll on our health and we can only do what we can. So sorry for the length of this book sized comment lol, but you know what I’m like! I get fired up and I can’t stop! All this to say, I am so thankful I met you dear Tina and I am so grateful that we can still keep in touch despite the challenges that afflict us both in varying degrees. You have a faithful, loyal and loving following who will never desert you, and I am so grateful for mine too, and for keeping each other encouraged and uplifted. Take heart my dear friend, and thank you for reminding me that the chaos won’t last forever, that there is hope and we need to hold onto that for all we’re worth…which is a lot! Love and hugs to you always…Sherri ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh Sher, your comments are most welcome and never too long. I’m so sorry to hear about your difficulties. The fire must have been terribly frightening, and your day-to-day concerns, extremely challenging. The best we can do is take the next right step and stay in the moment. We are so fortunate to have each other and our blogging community. Please know that you are always in my heart. This is especially important in times of absence. I’m so grateful for our friendship! Love and hugs always, sweet friend ❤❤❤

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      1. Thank you so much Tina, and yes, it is so important knowing we are there for each other especially in times of absence. It can be so isolating and lonely. One step at a time, one day at a time 🙂 You are a wonderful friend. Huge hugs and lots of love always to you dear, sweet friend ❤ ❤ ❤

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  27. Trust me, I understand. I’m here, then I’m gone for months. Same reasons. Just know I do understand. And, I do care. I hope you’re feeling “better” real soon. Do what you can, when you can, and your true followers will still be here when you get back. This is my first day back in months. Rest up and take care of you, that’s all you can do. Many times, I can read and not comment because I’m doing good to just be here and reading. Hope to see you around soon. XXX

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    1. Thank you, Tammy. I just read your blog post and know how well you understand. Commenting on blog posts is near impossible when in a flareup. But as you said, we do what we can, when we can. I love your poem, Warrior. Thanks so much for visiting and for your supportive comment, my friend. Just followed you ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. And, thank you for your very nice comment. Thank you for the follow, too. I know, we used to talk. It’s been awhile because I’ve really been slacking on my blogging because of all these illnesses. But, we’ll be here when we can and we’ll be back when we’re not. We walk this journey together. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Feel “better” soon. Keeping you in my thoughts. XXX 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Thank you. I’m grateful, as well!!!! XXX:) Why couldn’t all the chronically ill souls been placed in one section of the globe? Would have made coping so much easier. Oh, LOL…………….I guess that’s the lesson, huh??? lol 🙂

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  28. Exactly! I’m gonna be darn sure to not choose this problem/lesson, again, if I have to come back down here and do this again. I’m not sure about how many trips we must make before we can rest in paradise!!!!! Not sure what I was thinking when I chose to go this route!!!!! LOL 🙂

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