Over the past year, I have been a monthly guest author on Chris The Story Reading Ape‘s blog. Chris says he will continue his guest author series for as long as authors wish to participate. 

Thank you, Chris, for your ongoing support and generosity. 

This is my latest guest post. Hope you enjoy ❤

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Let Us Keep Our Hearts Open

It is easy to close our hearts; not so easy to keep them open. Or so it seems …

When we experience emotional pain, a common human response is fight or flight. Become angry or shut down. Neither of these reactions solves anything, and both can cause serious health problems if sustained over time.

Fear is the culprit in any action or reaction that is not love-based. It obscures awareness and keeps us ignorant of its deleterious effects. It constricts our bodies, imprisons our minds, catapults our emotions, and darkens our spirits. When trapped in fear, it is impossible to keep our hearts open.

If we close our hearts to one, we close them to all. Open is open and closed is closed. At one time, this was a difficult concept for me to get my head around. I thought I could open and close my heart at will, as easily as I removed and replaced the lid to the peanut butter jar. I soon learned how utterly deceptive this was. I began to feel as if I were zip-tied to a revolving door.

A husband and wife are furious with each other. Unaware of the discord, their daughter approaches them and asks for $20. Neither one hears her above the internal argument they are having with one another. The daughter asks again but is refused. She raises her voice and says, ‘What’s the big deal? It’s only $20!’ One of her parents reacts by slapping her hard across the face. Immediately contrite, the parent apologizes for behavior that was clearly out of character.

When storming in anger, simmering in blame, or smoldering in hurt, the heart automatically begins to close. This is a defense mechanism that frequently backfires, hurting not only the victim of our troubling emotions, but ourselves as well. The oftener we close our hearts, the nearer our subconscious moves toward believing this is the way we want to be in the world. Since the role of the subconscious is to serve, it will do all in its power to manifest this belief.

A politician unfit to serve is elected to high office. The people soon realize that his ignorance and egoism make him a dangerous head of state. They are inundated daily by media coverage of his prejudicial claims and wild assertions. They cannot turn off the news for fear he might do something perilous. They cannot remove him from office without an ‘Act of Congress.’ They live in fear of his rash judgments and loathe his narcissism. Soon, they begin to loathe the man himself and close their hearts to him. This impacts all of their relationships, because they are left having to switch tracks with every encounter. And derailment is a constant danger.

Is it possible to be angry with or despise someone while keeping our hearts open to them? The answer is yes. Doing so, however, requires separating the person from the behavior. Accept the person, loathe the behavior. This might be a laborious task, for example, in relation to the above-mentioned politician; but it is not impossible. The question we each need to ask ourselves is: Do I want fear to infect my spirit and rule my life? All negative emotion is fear-based. When fear is at the helm, the mounting storm goes unnoticed.

Remembering to separate the person from the behavior requires daily practice. Sometimes it is demanded; and sometimes it is demanded moment by moment.  The heart closes only when the soul no longer recognizes itself in another.

It is okay to feel angry. Feelings are raw and arise unedited. It is okay to rant and rave with like-minded friends and associates. Verbal expression is a release valve for pent-up emotion. It is okay to . . .

Continue reading . . . 

Source:  Let Us Keep Our Hearts Open – Guest Post by, Tina Frisco… | Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog

SALLY CRONIN consistently offers free promotional opportunities on her blog. I recently contributed four articles to her series, Posts from Your Archives.  If you would like to join in, Sally gives directions at the end of each post.

Sharing thoughts and feelings with so many lovely bloggers was a  wonderful experience. Today I’m sharing the fourth and final article I contributed. Find the first three here: 

Problem, Lesson or Opportunity?
Rejection: The Ultimate Teacher
What Is Success?

I’m grateful to Sally for her abiding generosity and for inviting me to participate ❤

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Welcome to the series where you can share four of your links from your archives here on my blog to a new audience. Perhaps posts that you wrote at the beginning of your blogging experience that deserve another showcase. If you have book promotion posts then please contact me separately for other options. Details of how to get in touch with me at the end of the post.

In the last in Tina Frisco’s series of four posts, she takes us through the process of how we can be our own worst enemies when it comes to putting ourselves down. We all know how negative words can be harmful when used to communicate with others but when we turn them inwards we can do long-term damage to our own belief in who we are.

When I Am Not Enough…by Tina Frisco

Throughout our lives, we hear ourselves say:  ‘I’m not that good!’  ‘I’ll never make it.’  ‘I wish I could write that well.’  ‘If only I had said. . .’

Words are powerful. Energy follows thought. The words we speak to ourselves drive our subconscious minds. Diminishing thoughts tell the subconscious we are not enough.

The subconscious mind is self-serving. Its mission is to fulfill our every desire, and it sets in motion the means by which to do so. It takes our words at face value and strives to manifest what they represent. It assumes that what we think and say is what we hope and dream.

How often have we heard ourselves utter, ‘Did I say that’? Unless we are channeling spirit, the mouth speaks what the subconscious mind thinks. If thought rests in the conscious mind, we are aware of it and can choose whether or not to give it a voice. If thought rests in the subconscious mind, we might find ourselves surprised by our own words.

Negative off-hand remarks might seem benign, but they are potent energy viruses that infect the subconscious mind through repetition; repetition which, over time, becomes emphatic. The virulence of this self-denial is potentiated by the subterranean stream of thought that mirrors the spoken word and continues feeding the subconscious. The subconscious then compels us to speak what it believes to be our truth.

This might seem like a vicious cycle that can’t be broken; yet anything is possible, because nothing is set in stone. Even dense matter can be converted to energy.

The way out is the way in.

If we wish to realize our full potential, we need to become witness to ourselves. We must remain alert to and aware of all we manifest in word and deed. And we must do this without judgment.

Labels proclaim. Proclamation reinforces. Reinforcement cements. Cement imprisons.

Your mind is a powerful thing. When you filter it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change. –Buddha

In order to build who we wish to be, we first need to become the unbiased observer and witness all we say and do. Notice the patterns. Write them down. Pay attention to the frequency in time and space, i.e., how often we repeat and how much mind space we give these cemented beliefs. This process enlightens us to the being we think we are. It moves the subconscious into the realm of the conscious. Once we become aware of our self-talk, we can make change for the better.

Continue reading … 

Source: Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives – When I Am Not Enough…by Tina Frisco | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

Along with other fellow bloggers, I’ve been contributing articles to SALLY CRONIN‘s series, Posts from Your Archives. This is my third, and you can read the first and second HERE and HERE. If you would like to join in, Sally gives directions at the end of each post. My thanks to Sally for inviting me to participate and for her ongoing  promotional support   

Welcome to the series where you can share four of your links from your archives here on my blog to a new audience. Perhaps posts that you wrote at the beginning of your blogging experience that deserve another showcase. If you have book promotion posts then please contact me separately for other options. Details of how to get in touch with me at the end of the post.

This week Tina Frisco explores our perceptions of Success. Something, as with Happiness we strive to find. The path to success is not all plain sailing and there is a very good reason for that…. discover more in the post.

What is Success by Tina Frisco

While writing the introduction to a fellow author’s book, I realized many of us view success as an end-product. We aspire, we strive and, if fortunate, we manifest. Only then do we feel gratified, overlooking all we accomplished in the process. In short, we fail ourselves.

If we become discouraged when met by an obstacle, we are not seeing that obstacle for what it truly is: a teacher. Obstacles not only teach us what does not work, but they also challenge us to reach beyond our perceived limitations. Obstacles are opportunities to practice what we have learned, alter our approach, and move forward. This is success.

Being stuck in obsessive thought patterns, limiting beliefs, or anything that stops us short of reaching a goal can lead to wallowing in the past (nostalgia) and yearning for the future (desire). Turning inward and finding the embedded thoughts sabotaging our efforts keeps us in the present and increases our chances of manifesting our dreams. This is success.

When we look within, we establish a willingness to explore our dark side and discover who we truly are. Throwing caution to the wind and delving into the depths of our psyches allows negative beliefs to surface and be recognized. We then can alter our approach by trying something new. This is success.

An experiential (versus therapeutic) approach to learning offers the highest chance of success, because learning is achieved through experience. Experience involves braving the unknown. The unknown holds all potential for advancement. If we do not commit to success by staying in the present, we could very well achieve bitterness and defeat.

Acknowledging each effective step we take toward realizing our dream is a marked success. In so doing, we achieve much more than the goal itself; we claim each and every one of our efforts as worthy of recognition.

Continue reading … 

Source: Smorgasbord Posts from Your Archives – What is Success? by Tina Frisco | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life