Tag Archives: Relationships

Grief

My spiritual teacher of nearly 40 years crossed over a few days ago, and once again I find myself dealing with grief. My mother left this earthly life last August, and my best friend left this past March.

Over the years I’ve learned that grief coexists with attachment – attachment to the physical, to an idea, to a belief, to loss, to fear of the unknown. As gravity keeps us grounded on Mother Earth, attachment keeps us grounded on the physical plane. Attachment is a function of ego, and ego’s only purpose is to keep us in form. So I ask myself:

How does one transcend grief and stay in form?

In my younger days, grief would overwhelm and paralyze me. Sleep, the only escape that offered any relief, consumed all my daily functions. Since then I’ve learned that escape, other than in small periodic doses, doesn’t ameliorate or extinguish grief – it merely anesthetizes it, during which time grief covertly wreaks havoc with our bodies, minds, emotions, and spirits. Grief seizes our hearts and holds us in suspended animation until we acknowledge it. Grief demands recognition. It holds us hostage until we feel it, intensely and profoundly, before
s-l-o-w-l-y letting go.

The grief I feel today over the loss of my dear teacher is a thin water-colored image compared with the dense oil-based images of years ago. This doesn’t minimize the love and respect I have for her. I deeply feel the loss of her physical presence. I also sense her spirit, playfulness, and joy with heightened awareness. I’ve been clairsentient all my life, so the only thing that’s changed is my perception of grief. While exploring every fiber of its texture, I dove deep and surfaced so many times that I now know grief intimately. It no longer frightens me. It no longer controls me. I can explore its depth and breadth with tears and longing, all without succumbing to the weight of its being. Although my heart aches and reaches out for what has moved on, I can dive deep and surface at will.

So, I suppose the answer to my question is:

Transcendence is transformation, not transmutation.

Meeting grief’s challenge can ignite eagle vision without defying gravity. It can allow us to hover above base emotions without losing integrity.

One of the first lessons my teacher shared with me was:

It’s what we choose not to look at that controls our life.
Energy follows thought.

She taught me well. Thank you, Lynn. Travel lightly, dear sister. I will see you again. My heart to your heart 💕

Namaste, my friends ❤️

©Tina Frisco 2022

#Booklaunch – Twenty Years: After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye

Debby Gies, aka D.G. Kayehas just released her 6th memoir,  Twenty Years: After “I Do”. She speaks from the heart and bares her soul in her writing. I couldn’t recommend her books more highly. 
Debby is an ardent supporter of authors, featuring guest posts and interviews, reblogs, book reviews, tips and tricks, and much more. She is an inspiration and a woman I am proud to call Sister and Friend. 
Join me in congratulating Debby on launching her new book. She frequently shares her fellow authors’ posts, so please do her the honor of sharing this, or her original launch post, to your social networks. Thank you so much ♥  

 

Twenty Years: After "I Do" by D.G. Kaye

Buy the book HERE
(universal link) 

BLURB
May/December memoirs.

In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.

Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other. 

EXCERPT
Chapter: To the Moon with Laughter 

I’ve witnessed many relationships head south when the initial attraction fades. Sure, people change opinions, preferences, or attitudes on certain issues as time passes, but if our core values or personality change, or if the common elements of enjoyment once shared between two people dissipate, we question our happiness. If we’re not happy about our partner’s personality change or views, a little bit of laughter dies within us. It becomes difficult to feel comfortable with our partner when inner unrest grows. The new discomfort curtails our ability to remain happy and feel the familiar freedom to laugh when our partner no longer shares the same humor. Note that I’m not referring to changes such as complacency or laziness that may set in due to declining energy levels. Age will sometimes alter our agility and even certain desires, but it doesn’t have to affect our senses of humor. Age creeping into a good marriage shouldn’t be a relationship killer.

EDITORIAL REVIEW 

Twenty Years: After “I Do” shows not only newly married couples but also those in the middle of their lives how to navigate companionship challenges and show love and kindness to their partners, handling life together gracefully and in harmony.

Multibook self-help author D.G. Kaye demonstrates, using examples from her own marriage, how to really commit to a relationship—till death do us part. 

– Doris-Maria Heilmann, 111 Publishing

BIO D.G. Kaye Writer

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

Why I Write

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes

“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling. 

************* 

Find Debby’s other books and read the reviews on
Amazon US     Amazon UK     Goodreads  

D.G. Kaye Amazon Author Page

Connect with Debby on her Website and social networks:
Website  Facebook   Twitter   Goodreads  LinkedIn   Google+   Pinterest   StumbleUpon  Instagram  About.Me  
Thanks so much for stopping by ❤

Remembrance Day Tribute by D.G. Kaye

Remembrance Day in Canada, as well as Veterans Day in the U.S., are set aside to honor all those who fought for our freedom. In her inspiring post, D.G. Kaye reminds us that during this time of upheaval and uncertainty, it is in our best interest to remember that we can choose how we behave toward our sisters and brothers across the globe. Will we divide across fear-based lines of prejudice and hatred, or will we unite under love-inspired hoops of kindness and compassion?

remember-by-debby-giesAt a time when the world seems divided with so many fears of uncertainty, it’s a time to remind that we all still have a choice to unite, not only to make America great again, but help to make the world great again. Strength is in numbers, not held solely in the hands of an elected official. It’s the numbers that put these officials in power. The damage is done, as has been in all wars. It’s now up to all of us to work hard at being kind and compassionate to our fellow man.

Today I went out on my balcony for a breath of fresh air, and something which stares me blatantly in the face every time I do so, became so much more polarizing. An apartment in a building across from mine flies the Canadian flag proudly every day. I watched as it danced in the wind in all its glory and served as a reminder that no matter how much I’m unhappy about the state of our economics in my province, and particularly my city, that I am grateful for the many other things we have in this country.

poppy-by-debby-giesTomorrow is Remembrance Day, a day to reflect and remember all those Vets who fought for many of our countries for freedom. November 11th – the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month is when we take a pause for a single moment of silence to pay our respect and remembrance for those who fought and died in battle for us, to end hostility.

Despite the loss of life, the world didn’t seem to learn after that war, as the second World War emerged only two decades later. In the decades that followed, more wars around the world ensued and still, there’s a nagging question mark lurking in the minds of many, wondering if it’s only a matter of time until the third World War might . . .

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